I’ve allowed life to get me down a lot, and now my mind is so weary. I’ve spent a lot of time planning and organizing and rationalizing… and what I came to realize was my brain was the most scrambled shit of all. My inability to get myself together has so much to do with my mind being a jumbled mess. There’s so many unanswered questions, intentions, ideas, memories, harsh words from others, and just rubble in there.
I can’t think straight.
I wanna be the perfect girlfriend, sister, daughter, employee, etc. I’m just not cutting it in any of these areas (by my own standards) because I’m pulling myself in too many directions. Which is ironic because I have no direction, right now.
And I can’t even sit here and tell myself the late nights, the unnecessary stress, alcohol, and drugs don’t have anything to do with my inability to focus…
I need a reset.